New Year's Revolution 06 (Raw only)
-Hype video for the show featured some wrestlers talking about how terrible it is to be in the chamber. This included a short interview with Benoit. I WAS NOT PROPERLY WARNED WWE NETWORK.
-Commentary team for the evening, Joey Styles and THE COACH. Sweet deal.
-Ric Flair © vs Edge w/Lita for the IC Title
Ric Flair was the IC Champion in January 2006. I shit you not. Edge has the MITB, I remember that. Lita and her boobs look good. Flair actually hit the sledge to the head from the top rope. Edge is in trouble here. Crowd loves Ric as he puts Lita in the figure four. WOW AND EDGE BUSTS FLAIR OPEN WITH A BRIEFCASE SHOT. By gawd that was brutal. ANOTHER ONE. Headshots were still a thing in WWE in 2006 clearly. Flair retains via DQ, match wasn't really good but technically there was nothing wrong with it.
-Kurt Angle promo, for some reason Daivari was his manager. "I'm not a really big fan of the black people." This is when WWE wanted everyone to cheer Cena and tried hard to get them to do it.
-Trish Stratus © vs Mickie James for the Women's Title
This is the set up for their eventual Mania match that I am actually looking forward to watching again. I don't remember them having this match beforehand though, lets see what it's all about. They got a video package. How times have changed. Mickie grabbed Trishs tit, then they botch a hurricanrana into a power bomb spot. Trish retains with the Chick Kick, pretty good divas match, better than most of what you see today. I mean they threw a bunch of FOREARMS at each other.
-Maria interviewing HERSELF. Gregory Helms interrupts. Where are his sugar babies?! I've watched WCW Greed 2001 too recently. Oh! Shelton and Mama Benjamin! My favorite. WWE apparently had this thing called instant access on wwe.com, Edge blew it off but Lita said she'd do it. A true second screen experience.
-Jerry Lawler vs Gregory Helms
This is a PPV match ya'll! Apparently this feud is happening because Lawler made some Hurricane jokes that Gregory did not like. 2006 was a weird time, this match is getting a LOT of time. I'm bored guys. Lawler beats the "young upstart". Yes they kept calling Helms a young upstart.
-More from the instant access room. There was a Trish/Lita stare down and some Mickie James shenanigans talking about hot sweaty bodies. More mamma Benjamin. She doesn't like the catering, they're serving PBJ and chips. Viscera is getting up on that right now! Jeeze.
-Triple H vs Big Show
This bad boy got a video package. Big Show has the biggest cast/most ridiculous cast I've ever seen on his right hand. How will HHH overcome these odds?! This match sucks guys. I don't know if you would have guessed that. After spending most of the match working over Big Shows broken hand there is a ref bump, shenanigans, a sledgehammer shot and a pedigree. HHH wins. Shocking. DUD.
-Carlito and Masters are going to team up to win the title. Good luck with that bros.
-Shelton Benjamin w/Mamma Benjamin vs. Viscera
Shelton showed up to the building not having a match, but thankfully Viscera trying to bang his mom got him on the card. Lawler has joined commentary. This match was LONG as well. Shelton won after two purse shots (one right in front of the ref) and a kick from Shelton.
-Vince and HBK promo, I forgot they fought at Mania this year. Grrrreeeattttt.
-Bra & Panties Gauntlet Match
"The last diva with her clothes, will be the winner" Well that was well said. The ref had to tell Lillian to get out of the ring, that was funny. After eliminating Candice and Torrie, Maria is eliminated by Victoria. Mae Young came out and ripped off her shirt. RIP Mae. Mae and Moolah eventually take off Victorias shirt. I'm shocked I've written so much about this match. Ashley wins and after took off her clothes voluntarily, because the internet.
-Shelton is in the instant access room. Him and momma are happy.
-Elimination Chamber match, John Cena © vs Shawn Michaels vs Kurt Angle w/Daivari vs Kane vs Carlito vs Chris Masters for the WWE Title
Apparently Kane and Big Show are World Tag Champions so that explains nothing. Kurt Angle came in and started suplexing everyone, the first truly awesome thing on this show. HBK got busted open, I gotta say I don't miss people bleeding. Cool spot alert: Angle has Cena in the ankle lock, out of nowhere HBK super kicks Angle for the pin. Kane eliminated by Masters and Carlito, yay! HBK is basically just laying in the corner bleeding out. Carlito pins HBK, that will do tons for his career! Remember when it was the Chain Gang instead of the Cenation. Good times. Poor Carlito and Masters never had a chance, especially since Carlito double crossed Masters. Cena wins the best match on the show, clearly.
WAIT! THAT'S VINCE'S MUSIC!
-John Cena © vs. Edge w/Lita for the WWE Title
YES! YES! YES! I remember watching this and just marking the hell out. Great end to such a shitty shitty show. "Behind every great man, there is a slut" - Jerry Lawler. Goodnight Jerry.
Final Grade: D
This show would have gotten a F if it wasn't for the finish. The best match on the show prior to the main event was Trish vs Mickie. Think about that. But the Edge thing was great and I remember literally losing my shit watching it. It still holds up on tape. I hope Edge and Lita have a live sex celebration tomorrow on Raw, that would be cool.